hmmm... whats new?? well, wala lang hahaha. still the same pabs u knew!

medyo walang nangyari sakin for the past few days eh. start na yung seminar class ko. ok naman as of now!

well, sana vacation pa din kasi miss ko na yung mga alis ko eh, hehehe sobrang miss ko na yung bestfriend fleur ko coz di ko na sya nakakasama. ahuhuhu! busy na din sya sa work nya! miss ko na din yung pag-iikot ko sa greenbelt at g4 everynight! ahuhuhu ang saya kasi eh, sobrang romantic at nakaka-relax kahit ako lang mag-isa! hahaha haayy, after this term kasi, ill be working na. so baka wala na kong time ulit gawin yung mga yun. waaahhh! nakakalungkot isipin pero i need to accept the fact na its a different world na for me after i graduate! ahuhuhu! excited ako pero scared, ang gulo noh? hehehe i just hope na its going to be ok for me =)

lovelife?? hehehe steady lang, im not in a hurry nmn eh. step-by-step nga diba? Rida and I were ok naman, steady lang kami. sobrang busy kasi nya sa work eh and me naman eh serious sa studies ko coz graduating nga! but were talking naman once in a while kapag free kami. kaya lang, ang sungit eh! hahaha ang suplada kapag kausap ako! hahaha joke lang, baka magalit sakin eh! oohhh, di pala nya mababasa to, im safe! hahaha well, i hope na sya na nga talaga coz im beginning to plan our future na eh! hehe

eto na muna, wala na ko masulat eh, medyo busy na kasi eh! yngatz kayo! mwah =)

wow, a year of tragic life has already ended! and now, a new year of happiness begins!

ill start my journal by greeting my bestfriend fleur a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! wish u all the best in life! enjoy ur day! yngatz palagi! mwahmwah =)

this is the life i really wanted yehey!

hmmm... oh well, finally i met rida (i used to call her dada nung high school)! after 9 long years, nagkita din kami! i never expected na magkikita pa kami after high school grabe! she is still pretty! hahaha i dropped by sa manila diamond hotel where she is working! haayyy di sya nagbago, tahimik pa din, always smiling and syempre super pretty pa din! we just talked a little bit coz christmas party nila and i dont wanna take much of her time! but she promised me na magkikita kami sa greenbelt so we could catch up naman diba! hahaha im so excited na! hehehe hmmmm... i asked her kung okay lang ba ilagay ko yung pix nya sa friendster ko, she said yes! hahaha palitan ko na daw yung mga pix ko dun at ilagay ko daw mga pix nya! hahaha madalas ko sya tawagan sa cell so we could talk nmn about sa mga nangyari sa buhay namin for the past 9 years! hahaha parang di kami mauubusan ng paguusapan grabe! oh well, im looking forward in seeing her again! haayyy actually crush ko sya before pa, high school pa lang kami. pero afraid pa ko that time in commiting to someone eh! so hanggang dun lang yun! hahaha pero now, haayy grabe i wanted to pursue na yung di ko nagawa before! hehehe finally! now i could say that God really have plans for us! i mean kahit sobrang depressed ka and sad ka sa past mo, God has some great things prepared for you! u just have to wait for it! finally after what happened sakin, God gave me a girl to love. yahoo!

haaayyy ang saya talaga! oh well, till next time guys! happy new year to all of u! and happy birthday again to my bestfriend fleur! advance happy happy birthday din sa best buddy ko, perns! sa january 6 ka pa, libre mo kami ha! hehehe yngatz kau lahat! stay cool and happy always! mwahz =)      

well well well what happened na ba sa napakasayang buhay ko? hahaha

ill be graduating on march, wow astig, finally! hahaha new life and new challenges are waiting for me! hahaha

im so damn happy nung saturday kahit tatlo lang kami nila richard and perns nagcelebrate ng bday ko! astig! so much fun and i really enjoyed it a lot! grabe! sobrang freezy sa tagaytay hahaha sarap kumain! but of course ang dami din nag-greet sakin that night! tnx to all of u!

haayyy, i have one problem but its not that serious nmn! there is this girl, she is my friend, waaaahhh hirap i-explain damn! oh well, actually im falling for her na! but i dont know kung tama ba or not! traumatized pa din kasi ako eh (sad to say)! but before i saw her in person, medyo nagkakagusto na ko sa kanya, pero i cant decide pa! i mean sobrang bait nya kasi and matured na mag-isip which i was looking for in a girl! parang for me, sya na siguro yung hinahanap ko! but the problem was, natatakot ako sa pwedeng mangyari! actually, 3 reasons yun kung bakit di ako makapag-decide, one is that were not on the same level (she's rich or should i say, sobrang above level sya sakin) second reason was ex-bf nya yung friend ko which is awkward nmn diba, and the last reason is, i dont know kung gusto nya din ako! hahaha damn! ang hirap, ayoko kasi pumasok na nmn sa situation na feeling ko eh mahihirapan ako! i mean, im just being careful at ayoko masaktan ulit noh! i've learned my lessons na! im not that stupid nmn na maghahanap ng GF just to ease the pain, parang niloloko ko lang sarili ko nun diba? actually, ready na ko again for another commitment, pero i wanna know which is right from wrong! i dont wanna make the same mistake again! haaayyy hirap talaga! grabe! pero for now steady lang! one step at a time lang! im not in a hurry nmn eh, at least tama yung magiging decision ko diba kaysa magsisi ako in the end!

dumating na kasi sa point na hinahanap-hanap ko na sya, yung palagi ko na syang gusto makita or makasama even in a short period of time lang, masaya na ko nun! its so unusual na kasi for me, i know na in myself, she not just a friend na for me! much deeper na yung feelings ko for her! which is bothering me! ayoko kasi masira yung friendship namin over love! haaaayyy hirap grabe! AM I FALLING IN-LOVE AGAIN? argh =(

oh well, thats life! but for now, steady lang! come what may! but i wish its all good wink* next time na ulit kwento =)

wow its almost a month na pla akong di nag susulat sa journal ko! hahaha daming ngyari sakin which was all good! im happy na! yahoo!

oh well, sunday will be my birthday! argh im 24 na! waaaahhh hahaha

what happened sakin?? hmmm...... next term ill be graduating na! finally! hahaha everythings going well!

i bought a new fone na, K700i, maganda sya pero hirap me sa set ng characters, sanay kasi me sa nokia eh!

finally i met fleur na! yahoo! we ate lunch kanina sa Friday's G4! hahaha we had a great time together! astig! wow she's so cool and mabait! nag shopping sya sa mango, my god! of all the places! hahaha but its ok! next time ulit fleur ha!

bukas were going to EK and tagaytay to celebrate my bday! astig! ang saya grabe! im soooo excited! ill be with perns, mito, richard! sayang di makakasama si fleur coz shes busy eh! pero babawi daw sya! DAW HA! hahaha looking forward ako sa promise mo fleur! hahaha

oh well, finally i got what i really wanted in my life! TRUE HAPPINESS! astig, hirap humanap nun coz walang nabibili nun! hahaha

thats it for now! next time ulit okie! stay cool, mwah =)

haaayyy.... sobrang puyat! hahaha

oh well, yesterday sobrang puyat ako coz wala kong tulog! argh! kaya pag-uwi ko at around 9pm, boom, bagsak ako agad sa bed ko! hahaha then i woke up kanina at around 7am! hahaha wow bago yun ha!!! hehehe

what happened yesterday?!?!? oh well, nagbayad me for my car, so baka next week ko na makuha coz holiday sa monday eh! argh! then went to school, tambay lang coz wala kong magawa! then nakipagkita kay kevin at princess! haaayy... boring pla day ko kahapon! hahaha yun kumain lang sa sm! nag-buffet kami ni kevin sa cabalen, trip lang! coz sobrang gutom na kaming dalawa! kinain namin lahat ng ulam dun! hahaha si kevin badtrip kasi wala yung kuhol na ulam, hahaha ako naman badtrip kasi wala ng meat yung pata! waaaahhh! hahaha pero bawi kami sa halo-halo! hahaha yun lang! tapos yosi lang konti then uwi na kami! bago sakin yun kasi 7:30pm pa lang eh umuwi na ko! di ko na kasi kaya eh, sobrang antok ko na! hahaha what a day =)

sobrang antok ko, nagtaxi na ko hanggang samin! argh! gastos amf! hahaha then pagdating ko dito, binuksan ko lang pc ko tapos iniwan ko na naka-online! hehehe

fleur sorry po, tulog na ko kagabi eh, di na kita nakausap! ahuhuhu bawi me sau next time! iniwan ko lang bukas yung inet ko, pero tulog na ko nun hahaha! usap na lang tyo next time! sorry po bigtime!

oh well, yun lang ang ngyari sakin yesterday! hayyy kapagod din at sobrang puyat! hehehe okay lang at least im happy with what im doing na diba? till next time folks! byers =)

oh my God!!! wala pa kong tulog! waaahhh!! last sunday, i stayed all night long to do something important! kasi kailangan yun for monday, so ayun, natapos ko din! ang bad talaga ng feeling ko that time coz ang sakit ng katawan ko at para kong magkakasakit! oh well, thats life! pag-uwi ko, i chatted with fleur pa, syempre, wala lang! hahaha sobrang pagod ko, nakatulog ako around 2am na! so naiwan kong nakabukas yung pc ko! hahaha i woke up at around 6am, i turned off my pc and went back to bed coz inaantok pa ko talaga! ayun, nagicing me 8pm na! hahaha so i opened my pc again, as usual, chat na nmn and internet, played online games ahahaha! and still ka-chat ko na nmn si fleur! hahaha fleur di ka ba nagsasawa? palagi na lang ako kausap mo? hahaha ayun, nagsend me sa kanya ng mga love songs coz wala lang! hahaha so we stayed up again until 7am! waaah! sabi ko matutulog na ko, coz inaantok na ko talaga! then to my surprised, si mito kumakatok sa gate namin at around 9am! God, di daw sya pumasok sa trabaho hahaha! hayun, hindi ko nmn pwede tulugan yun diba coz nandito sya sa house ko! waaaah then perns texted pa na sunduin daw namin sya! hahaha

haaaayyy, wala talaga kong tulog ngayon grabe! and now, nag-iinternet na nmn ako! hahaha grabe noh? ang tibay ko! hahaha the whole day nag-ikot lang kami to find a car for me! yahoo.... graduation gift daw ni mommy for me and bday gift na din daw! waahhh ang daya! but its okay, tnx mom! so nagpunta kami sa fairview and along EDSA to find something nice for me! ayun, nakita namin mazdaspeed car! maganda daw yun sabi ni perns and mito eh, so inasikaso ko na! and closed the deal hahaha! yehey! at least di na ko mahihirapan sa pag-alis diba! wahooo!! hahaha

after that, we went to AMA QC, para kumain lang ng lunch at isaw! grabe, ive already tasted yung dugo, yuck! pinatikman sakin ni perns! nice experienced naman eh! ayun, then nagpunta kami sa house nila perns, para maglaro lang ng NBA 2005! dami namin pustahan, pero syempre secret na malufet kung ano yun! kami na lang nakakaalam hahaha! what a funny and happy day for me! yeah baby, im loving it sobra!!!!

so i got home at around 9pm na! eto na ko ngayon, nagsusulat ng journal hahaha!

i read something sa inet, pero secret na lang! grabe, i really dont know what to react eh! tangna! ano nangyari? bakit naging ganyan ka na nmn? waaahhh, akala ko ba seryoso ka na about the things you have to do, eh bakit ganyan na nmn? alam ko wala kong paki, pero damn, ayusin mo sana! im still your friend! magalit ka man sakin ng sobra, im still concerned eh! pero sakin na lang yun! waaah! sana maging okay ka na! nagpromise ka pa before na seryoso ka na sa ginagawa mo, pero ano nangyari? damn! mahirap talaga kapag di mo alam gusto mo gawin sa buhay mo! yung hindi mo alam kung saan ka magiging masaya! wala kang matutupad sa mga gusto mo gawin kung ganyan palagi ang attitude mo! oh well, all i can do to help u, is to pray for you na sana maisip mo na kung ano talaga gusto mo mangyari sa buhay mo! i swear! =) umuwi ka na kasi dito eh, malungkot jan wink*

well, this day was a great day for me! i felt happy sobra! wink* kahit wala kong tulog! gagu ka talaga mito! hahaha pero dude tnx sa lahat ng help mo! pati na din kay perns! sobrang salamat sa inyo! wink* 

woah.... after what happened last night, i felt confused and scared! i dunno why! damn!

feeling ko, mali yung decisions ko before na ibigay at ipagkatiwala ang sarili ko and my heart to someone i thought i could trust with it and take care of it. oh well, im not regreting any of it coz it made me stronger and helped me became a better man.

i talked to april and perns about what happened, they gave me advices which was hard for me but i need it for me to recover! thanks guys, it helps me a lot! by the way, u guys were right, i shouldnt stick to her after everything she just sed to me which was not good! i never really imagined na makakapagsalita sya sakin ng ganun after lahat ng pinagdaanan namin in the past! i mean, for me kasi, kahit gaano kasama yung mga ginawa nya sakin before which eveybody knows, eh di ako nakapagsalita sa kanya ng ganun! kahit sobrang galit ko na, never ko nagawa sa kanya yun! well, ganun talaga, u cant really tell whats the real attitude behind that person! thankful na din ako coz at least as early as now, nakita ko na the real her!!! thank you!

before i go to bed at around 6am na ata, i pray deeply, as in first time ko ginawa yun, i was crying while praying! hahaha i asked God some questions. do i deserve these problems? sobrang dami kong problems which were di ko na kinakaya. i begged him to give me one reason to live. sinabi ko pa sa kanya na sana pagicing ko, may reason na syang ibigay sakin para di ako mahirapan! i was talking to him for 1 hour ata and paulit ulit lang yung hinihiling ko sa kanya! hahaha weird noh! well sana di sya masyadong nakulitan sakin! sorry po God!

when i woke up kanina at around 6:15 pm, madilim na hahaha! i felt light inside, i mean parang wala kong problems, parang ang sarap tumayo sa bed! walang masakit sakin, hindi ako tinatamad bumangon! i dunno kung yun yung binigay ni God na reason for me to live! pero im thankful pa din! ang hirap i-explain yung feeling eh, parang now i can really let go of her! he changed my attitude towards her, he took off the pride, insecurities, and selfishness sakin! i mean WOW! hirap explain eh, pero i think im okay now to move on! oh my God! di ko expected na magagawa ko yung i-let go the person i love the most! pero i finally felt it! iba talaga yung feeling ko ngayon! now i can tell the whole world how happy i am!

oh well, kung binabasa mo man ito ngayon, i just wanna say thank you for everything uve done to me! no regrets talaga for me! u helped me became a better person! alam mo na hindi kita pinerahan if thats ur reason for leave me! kasi kung yun talaga yung reason mo para iwan mo ako, sana dati pa! at least now i know na wala talaga akong ginawang masama sau. kung meron man, its not that big for you to decide na iwan ako! and about that wife issue, everybody knows whats the real story about that! siguro nga ur not my wife coz never mo sineryoso yun! pero for me, i tend to be ur husband! para sakin lang yun! just be happy and make the right decisions coz ikaw din ang mag ssuffer kapag nagkamali ka! take care and advance happy birthday na din coz baka di na kita ma-greet sa december 07 eh! enjoy life!

and for me, im happy! never felt this way before! bye!!!  

im bored and felt stupid! why??? hahaha sakin na lang yun =(

for the past couple of weeks, im thinking of things that are so impossible to happen! argh! oh well, im happy with my true friends, perns, mito, richard, fleur, april, shiela, kevin and princess! they support me in any way they could but still i feel incomplete! dang!!! i dunno whats bothering me. im still recovering on my operation, the stitch is still itchy hehehe! but im okay, my head dont hurt that much not like before! im still trying to find myself again!

there are things that need my attention but i dont have the guts to face them. argh!!! so many works filed out for me but im not doing anything! but instead, im in front of my pc doing nothing, just listening to love songs which reminds me of someone so special to me! waahhh!!! i cant helped it =(

dang, i wrote some poems which was intended for her, but still i have to accept the fact that shes not here with me. "pabs face the reality that she doesnt love you anymore and she already loves someone else, she already found the guy who makes her happy and straighten up all ur mistakes uve done to her. you cant do anything about it!" this phrase i always put in mind, as in everyday, but still its hard for me to accept, i still do care for her, i still do miss her and most specially i do still am deeply inlove with her! damn ---------------- =(

this doesnt makes sense to you huh??? i know!!! hahaha oh well, but these are the things that fucked me everyday of my life! damn!